Don’t give councils even more nannying powers for chrissake. I mean, the poor Queen has to sit there reading out all this election tosh from Boris and halfway through there’s this line that councils will get more powers to reduce air pollution.

Blimey, let councils do the basics first, like keep the streets clean, empty the bins without leaving garbage halfway down the road and fill in the potholes which round my manor are deep enough to keep a flock of ducks happy.