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Fraudsters were dummies ‘Blue Monday' is supposedly the most depressing day of the year – doubly so because it's a cynical, made-up PR stunt. Nonetheless, it rolled into Hemming Towers as remorselessly as one of the ubiquitous posters of Moira Stuart warning the self-employed to file their tax forms. But how generous of the taxmen, not typically renowned for jollity, to brighten our corner of Pimlico with an early contender for Whitehall Press Release of the Year? Diary didn't get where he is today by beating around the bush. So our woeful story begins with the rather appropriately-surnamed David Perrin, former Inland Revenue employee and deputy managing director of Vantis Tax Ltd. Through this firm, Mr Perrin – perhaps a victim of nominative determinism – devised and set up a tax-avoidance scheme exploiting the law on giving shares to charity. Hooked by a network of financial advisers, more than 600 wealthy taxpayers bought shares worth a few pence each in four dummy companies listed on the Channel Islands stock exchange. So far, so bad. The value of the shares was then inflated by scamsters paid to do so by an offshore account, and some 329 million of them were in turn ‘donated' to unsuspecting charities, which later sought to claim £70m tax relief. Apparently, the nefarious plan was such a hit that Vantis employees adapted the lyrics of Gloria Gaynor's disco classic ‘I will survive' into a smug celebratory song. One of the verses ran: ‘They should have changed that stupid law, they should have bu*****d charity, but they have left that lovely tax relief, for folks to pay to me'. After what can only be described as ‘a bit of a balls-up on the fraudulent tax relief submission front', Mr Perrin –who spent his ill-gotten gains on second homes, exotic holidays, works of art and luxury cares –will be sentenced on 9 February. Diary isn't one of those dreadful columns that gloats on the misfortunes of others, or delights in stretching out seemingly-irrelevant but telling detail. But local government has had to endure cuts as a consequence of such tax-avoidance scams. As, CJ, Reggie Perrin's boss at Sunshine Desserts, would have it, every silver lining has a cloud…

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Contender for Whitehall Press Release of the Year

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