Conservative Party councillor Alicia Cochrane-Smythe is enjoying a G&T after Wimbledon with party member Jessica Lamborghini.
Alicia: You couldn't make it up. Here we are talking about competing in the global race, making Britain a world-class, high-tech, cutting edge nation and winning tennis to boot – and then there's Ed ‘Sound of the Seventies' Miliband and his band of crusty old union leaders with their beer and sarnies heading rapidly in the opposite direction.
Jessica: Next thing is he'll be wearing a cloth cap.
Alicia: It took Labour about 20 years to persuade voters it wouldn't let the unions run the country if it took power. Now Miliband's screwed it all up in two weeks. Lucky for us.
Jessica: It'd be 1974 all over again if Miliband got in. We'd be having three-day weeks and lights out at 10pm to save power and worst of all, have to listen to Gilbert O'Sullivan songs. Mind you, I was conceived during one of those blackouts so perhaps I should be jolly grateful for all those militant miners.
Alicia: It was a car crash waiting to happen, darling. Miliband gets in because of Unite which then bankrolls Labour and naturally it wants to turn Labour into its mouthpiece.
Jessica: He'd be forcing us to watch reruns of On the Buses if he got back in and we'd have to wear boiler suits.
Alicia: Mind you, remember what happened after the 1970s?
Jessica: You mean Margaret Thatcher?
Alicia: Exactly.
Jessica: Then let's vote for Miliband! Another G and T darling?
