CORRIDORS OF POWER A party political broadcast on behalf of the coalition by Jim Smythe, Treasury revenues under-secretary Good evening... As you know, we live in worrying times. The country is back in recession, we face a decade of austerity, living standards are declining, the cost of social care is crippling council budgets, youth unemployment is up, the Greeks could exit the euro, plunging the Continent into further fiscal chaos, Syria is on the edge of civil war, Iran may have a nuclear bomb… Which is why I want to talk to you tonight about the pasty tax. The finest minds in the Treasury worked for months to come up with a new ‘Hotfood Strategy'. Even they can't get everything right the first time, which is why we have amended our strategy to take into account new guidance on Warmed Up Pasties, Cooling Off Sausage Rolls and Oven Ready Jamaican Patties. This will all be explained in our handy new leaflet from HM Customs and Excise A Guide To Tax On Hot, Warm And Partly Warm-But-Not-Sold-as-Hot-Pasties. Quite simply, if your pasty comes straight from the oven, there is no VAT on it, because it is already hot and not being kept warm. If the pasty is left on the counter to cool off, it is still not being kept warm and so there is no VAT on it. If it is cold there is no VAT on it. If, however, it is hot, then you must pay VAT and if you…(Producer's voice: Taxi for Mr Smythe!)