Sailing close to the wind MJ Towers is a place of mature debate and cutting-edge analysis. However, Diary is not. Which is why we are pleased to bring you this profound piece of genuine nonsense, as a salute to a fellow hack from This is Grimsby also labouring under the delusion that not all local news at present has to make you weep over your graph of doom. It begins: ‘The quiet dignity of a court session was abruptly disturbed when someone loudly broke wind in the public gallery.' And it continues: ‘Nobody apologised for the noisy interruption – and there were anxious looks from people nearby who feared they might get the blame. Grimsby magistrates pretended they had not heard a thing, and in a seemingly-unrelated incident a few minutes later, all the lights went out for a few seconds before flickering back on again.' As Samuel Goldwyn said: ‘Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius.' After all, no news is good news these days.