Title

Yo what's up! Tarquin's in da house! I nicked my mum's tablet from her handbag (which is well rubbish, hasn't even got Angry Birds on it) and I was gonna invite my posse round my place tonight for a party, but then I found a folder marked The MJ Diary. Weird! She keeps writing about all this local government stuff. Sounds clever. Mind you, she still needs me to retune the television so she can watch something called the Parliament channel. I watched it once for five minutes. It's a soap opera about these old blokes who keep interrupting each other. Well lame. Mum tells me I'm going to an academy. I was so excited – until I found out it's the same school I'm at anyway! For real. They're going to demolish the building, which is so old it was built in the last century. Talk about ancient! They better have wi-fi or else. Not to mention plugs for recharging our mobiles. Otherwise they are going to be infringing my human rights. See mum, I do read those things you leaving lying around the house – newspapers. And we get a new uniform, which will make us look well boring. My mum wasn't happy about spending so much money on it, though. ‘If academies are so good, why doesn't the Government pay for the uniforms?' she said. Whatever! We get new lessons too. I just want to study cool shizz, like computer games and technology. Why should I read about some bloke called Macbeth, when I can be updating my MacBook. All these old geezers on that Parliament programme reckon they know what is best for me, but I bet they can't even work their mobiles. We should be teaching them. In 20 years' time, they'll be relying on us. You wait and see. Anyway, the party starts at 9pm. Tell all your mates. Mum and dad are out ‘till midnight. It's gonna be banging!

Title

Four Wheel Drive Woman: Tarquin takes over

SUBSCRIBE TO CONTINUE READING