I may not be much of an expert on high finance – but then, judging by the mess they’ve made of the economy, nor are most of the boys in the City – but I do wonder how anyone can make so much money out of shoving old folk into homes.I mean, this company which has run into cash problems apparently made its previous owners squillions, based on what? Are old folk going to be hedged on the stock exchange or ‘shorted’, whatever that expression is, as some wide boy in red braces at Canary Wharf decides that the price of old geezers is going down so sell, sell, sell or going up so buy, buy, buy!Are there going to be ‘futures’ in grannies, like there are with tin, gas and oil?Are there going to be ‘spot’ markets for wrinklies?Will the Old Geezer Share Price Index soar on the dis- covery of new incontinent pads ‘cos they’ll save the owners of care homes – or should I say, ‘uncare’ homes – fortunes in dry cleaning and new upholstery for their self-reclining armchairs?Or will it plummet ‘cos some boffin has invented a new leather-bound stair lift, meaning the old folk can stay in their own homes and don’t need to be parked in some god-forsaken uncare home overlooking the railway yards at Neasden Junction.It’s a mad world…
