So councils are going to start doing health checks ‘cos they're now responsible for ‘public health', i.e. yet another excuse for poking their noses into our business.

It's a load of load of cobblers.  What do councils know about health?  They can empty bins and slap parking tickets on your windscreens but there's no way I'd let any of them near me with a stethoscope.

And how exactly are they going to make us change our ‘lifestyles?'  If I want to drink
five pints of Stella a night that's my business.

What's the council going to do if I tell ‘em to sling their hook?  Stop emptying my bins?  Turn the street lights off outside my gaff?

And when are they going to do these health checks?

I mean as council staff work from nine to five – though they're hardly ever there what with flexitime, sickness and time off in lieu to go shopping – and as the likes of you and me work all day I don't exactly see there are many windows.  If they were really interested in our health they could start by getting rid of all their parking wardens.

That'd bring down my blood pressure at a stroke ‘scuse the pun.  Scrapping council tax would certainly make me feel better…mine's a pint and I'll have a Scotchegg with it as well, cheers mate.