I always find the beginning of a New Year is always a good time to reflect, while also looking forward, thinking about the opportunities to improve how I fulfil my leadership responsibilities.
We know leadership is a complex task, particularly in local government given the breadth of our responsibility along with the expectations our communities rightly have about the quality and impact of public services.
For all the talk about how local government is structured, I firmly believe the key to success in any organisation is rooted in the quality of leadership. Having served in various leadership roles for nearly 25 years, I have seen the demands increase and felt the impact of these changes personally as well as seeing how they have affected friends and colleagues.
The more I thought about it, the more I realised I had a responsibility not only to acknowledge the illness which my brother had suffered, but also the impact the circumstances surrounding his death have had on me and my mental health.
‘Resilience' is a word used more often in the leadership language. I have struggled with the implications of this word for some time and my personal experiences over the last 18 months has made me question more explicitly why this word has become so prevalent when describing positive attributes of leaders.
In August 2023, my brother Jim, who was 59, took his own life.
When I had seen him a few months before, everything seemed fine. We had our usual chats about family and I had no idea about the inner turmoil he was obviously feeling.
My brother was really ill but if you saw him you would have no idea. Dealing with his death has been very difficult, and as I have learned more about his struggles, the impact on me has been profound. So many questions have flowed through my mind. Why did he get to that state? What could I have done?
I am told these feelings are quite common for someone dealing with such events. However, another question has also been swirling around. How do I, as a leader, deal with the experience I have had?
Dealing with a death in the family is something we all face. Somehow, this felt different.
When my brother died, I was initially consumed with dealing with the practical issues. I wanted to help my brother's family – his wife and two sons and also my sister, Jim's twin, as much as possible.
The first few days were a blur. The circumstances of his death – he took his life at my sister's house – complicated everything. I was drawn into conversations with the police and the coroner, as well as having to deal with the very practical issues of arranging his cremation.
Once the initial fog lifted, I had a decision to make. What was I going to say when I returned to work from my week of compassionate leave?
Suicide is still stigmatised. The coroner kept insisting on referring to my brother's death as ‘unnatural'. I find this language really difficult to reconcile with how our society has sought to understand the impact of poor mental health.
I didn't want to reinforce the stigma, yet I knew I would find it hard to be open about what had happened to my brother. Just saying the words ‘he took his own life' were difficult.
The more I thought about it, the more I realised I had a responsibility not only to acknowledge the illness which my brother had suffered, but also the impact the circumstances surrounding his death have had on me and my mental health.
As leaders, we are often encouraged to learn about how we can nurture, support and encourage others around us. I have read many books about leadership which emphasise the importance of helping others. I agree this is at the heart of what makes great leaders.
However, does this narrative about leadership cause a problem? Does it create a difficulty for leaders to think about their own wellbeing and does it generate a reluctance to be open about our own issues?
I am struck by the many stories there are about how leaders have struggled with depression and other mental health challenges, but these are almost always raised once leaders leave their roles.
Does opening up to my challenges make me a better leader? That is probably for others to judge, but I know acknowledging my vulnerabilities has helped me to understand others better and my colleagues to feel more connected to me.
We seem to have a reluctance to be open about the challenges as they are happening because openness and honesty about mental health still seems to be seen as a weakness in a leader.
So, I knew when I returned to work after my brother's death, that I needed to be honest with myself and open with colleagues.
Every fortnight, as part of our staff briefing, I write a message to staff. It had taken me a couple of months to build up the courage to write about my brother, but I explained to colleagues how he had died and the struggles I am still having coming to terms with what has happened.
The response was fascinating. Many colleagues thanked me for being open about what happened and how it has helped others across the organisation come forward to talk about the issues they are facing.
My concerns about being seen as weak could not have been further from the truth, as my colleagues have explained to me. They want to see a leader who is human, and sharing my experience has helped them see me as the person I am, rather than the ‘chief executive'.
I also know my ongoing challenges are very real and not something which will be resolved quickly. I have had therapy. This has helped, but I know it is just the start. My vulnerabilities are real and this is something I am facing up to.
Does opening up to my challenges make me a better leader? That is probably for others to judge, but I know acknowledging my vulnerabilities has helped me to understand others better and my colleagues to feel more connected to me.
So, perhaps, we should all take some time to reflect on what we define as a good leader and help others to understand that looking after ourselves is the prerequisite to being able to nurture and support others.
I certainly want to encourage others to acknowledge their challenges, particularly around mental health. Doing so in real time is so important, because everyone sees the impact as it is happening
Will Godfrey is chief executive of Bath & North East Somerset Council
